Gone..

Mr 3: Mum, why are you making that funny face?

Me: I'm just feeling sad because E is not here..

Mr 3: It's ok, Mum, he just always goes somewhere and then he comes back.

...

Mum? Its ok, because all the people look after each other,  and all the people are parts of the world.

Body beautiful...

The other night I fell asleep fully dressed, whilst settling baby M. At some stage through the night I managed to rid myself of the dress I had on, leaving me just in my underdaks. When I finally acknowledged that the day should just begin, I emerged from the bedroom into the quiet, still sleepy house and managed to catch a glimpse of myself in the full-length mirror outside our bathroom.

For the first time, possibly in my life, I really loved what I saw. I am well versed with the parts of my body that I often see and feel uncomfortable with - my tummy that still seems to bulge, my chunky thighs, my arms not as toned as I would like, and my neck that threatens to become a full-blown double chin if I keep using chocolate to keep myself upright through the day.. but this time I saw the complete package, and it worked. My body is rounded, yes, but in a softly beautiful, well proportioned and achingly feminine way.

A shall try to remember this body, beautiful, exists.

He understands..

The most beautiful thing in my days is watching my littlest two boys interact. Mr 2 is just so loving, gentle, thoughtful and understanding of baby M.

When baby M is upset, Mr 2 will tell me what it is that he wants. I've really noticed in the last few days that Mr 2 is spot on, everytime. Where he used to just say "he wants mummy" or "he wants a breastfeed", Mr 2 now knows if M wants to sleep, is asking for a toy, or needs to do a wee!

My favourite though is when M is upset, and Mr 2 will go up and cuddle him, saying "it's ok M, I'm here".

He understands.